Do you know what "communication" really means to you,
personally? Does it mean the same to you as it does to
your friends, family, and co-workers?

Most people think they understand communication, but even a
dictionary describes only a sadly pale representation of the
potential reality. Definitions do usually include the notion that
communication involves more than just the written or spoken
word - but did you know that ants and iguanas communicate
with chemicals, and bees by dancing?

So, what do you communicate with your choice of personal
scents (chemicals)? Do you realize that this includes perfumes,
deodorants, soaps, shampoos, and laundry products? What
messages do you send with your individual style of dancing?
Did you know that the pupils of your eyes dilate when you are
attracted to someone?

Most people are aware of the concept of non-verbal communication,
and generally assume this means body language and facial
expressions. The Victorians, though, could carry on entire
conversations using only flowers. The same is possible with
crystals, colors, animals (use their images to avoid creating
zoos of conversational by-play!), and - with a little bit of a stretch
to accept modern-day interpretations - Celtic knotwork. There are
dozens of other symbolic languages - enough to suit everyone's
preference and communication style!

Families and close friends usually have their own symbolic
language, even if they're not consciously aware of it. It's a
rare family that doesn't have an inside joke, where a look,
a phrase, or a gesture encapsulates (symbolizes) the entire
experience and can set a roomful of people into laughter.
More complex than that are the almost instinctive
understandings that develop between people who live together
or are very close friends - all based on nonverbal symbols of
some sort.

Another seldom-explored concept involves how we communicate
with ourselves. What messages - symbolic and otherwise - are
we sending to ourselves when we overload our schedules with
too many chores and not enough relaxation, or when we speak
harshly to ourselves over small mistakes? You probably
recognize friends' and co-workers' tendencies to be much harder
on themselves than they are on others; do you see it in yourself?

Do you share the commonly-held belief that personal and
professional politics is somehow not quite nice, slightly
slimy and maybe even unethical, not something you really
want to be doing? Or do you recognize the wonderfully
positive impact that you can have when you choose to
become personally excellent at the broad range of
communication that goes into "playing" politics, whether
at home or in the office?

If you are one of many who believe that understanding someone's
viewpoint means agreeing with him or her, you are missing out on
a powerful tool for reducing conflict. Likewise, if you forget that
communication styles are as varied as hair color (though not as
easily changed!), you're condemning yourself and those around
you to frustration and missed messages.

The world of communication is as wide and varied as the people
you meet. Finding new ways to convey your message is a
lifelong venture that is wonderfully rewarding!

"The most important thing in communication is to hear what
isn't being said." Peter Drucker, 1909-2005, naturalized
citizen of the United States who is often cited as the 'founding
father' of the study of management.

Article written by Grace L. Judson.