Creating Routines

First off, and perhaps most important, for the stay at home dad is to establish a routine. This routine can come in many sizes and shapes, will always be evolving, and should be tailored to fit you and your childs needs.

The importance of a routine is that it provides a framework for you and your child. You can change this framework as the needs of you and your child change, but I have noticed that my children are the most content when they know whats going on. If they get bored I can deviate from the routine, or abandon it completely for a time, but if they start to go crazy I can return to it.

Let me give you an example of a routine I have followed. I started using variations of this routine when my children were thirteen months old.

1. Diaper Time

2. Breakfast Time

3. Reading Time. I would sit cross legged on the floor in the same spot each morning beneath a lamp attached to the book case. My daughter would crawl into my lap, and I would read her books as my wife departed for work.

4. Movie Time (cartoon video and snack). I would do household chores during this time.

5. Playtime (which includes coloring, blocks, play doe, toys, free play, and puzzles etc.).

6. Dancing time/music time (put on your favorite music and dance). Also includes playing your favorite instrument and letting your child play it as well.

7. Nap time (can include going for a pack walk or buggy walk or a drive in the car until child falls asleep). I would do more chores around house during this time.

8. Reading time.

9. Change diaper.

10. Lunch.

11. Visit the park/shopping. Have a cookie in the shopping cart.

12. Play in car (supervised).

13. Computer time (draw pictures for child on computer. Let him or her begin to play with keyboard. (Was typewriter time until we were given a computer.)

14. Snack time (cheese, crackers, Kix, raisons, carrot, frozen corn, etc., on a plate. Each child has his own preferences. I leave snack out for a while so my daughters can graze.

15. School time (play school with stuffed animals as students. Child and I take turns being teacher and aide. Aide makes stuffed animals talk.)

16. Office time (pay bills while child sits on your lap and draws and plays with office supplies, tape, stamps, large paper clips, etc.)

17. Sandbox time (or flour time. Pour a little flour into a pan and let child guide little plastic people or toys through it.)

18. Dinner time.

19. Monster time. (Dad chases child around the house pretending to be a monster.)

20. Bath time.

21. Reading time & bedtime.

I dont adhere to this schedule religiously, and the times allotted for each item may vary. Nor do I do all of the items listed above on a daily basis. You may not be able to go to the park because its raining, or you wont go shopping everyday, or perhaps you just get tired of doing some of the items, and you need to rotate them. So the routine floats, as do the items in it, but it does provide a basic structure. If you like, you can abandon it all together and just fool around, or you can do monster time in the morning instead of in the evening, and you can also be spontaneous and add something new whenever you want, but its nice to have a schedule of events to fall back on. I believe children like structure and order, as well as some free time.

In the beginning I make a point of calling out each activity five or ten minutes before it actually begins. This gives the kids a little time to adjust. After the routine is established your child will begin telling you what event is coming next.

Just because you follow this schedule it doesnt mean you wont have any problems. If your child is coming down with a cold, or didnt get enough sleep the night before, or he or she is teething, youre going to have a rough day. But overall a routine will reduce frustration in you and your child. It will give you direction, and a sequence of events to organize the day.

From 'The Stay At Home Dad' by Jim Muckle