Truly forgiving is a challenge. Forgiveness is not simply telling the person who harmed you "It's OK". It is also about releasing the control that your perception of being a victim has over you.

The act of forgiveness improves energy levels and health in all domains of life - physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. So, how do you truly forgive?

The first step is to work out what needs to be done to forgive others and yourself. If you need to have a conversation with another party you must be absolutely sure that you are not seeking another opportunity to project further blame on to them. If you are, it means you are not yet ready to forgive.

Sometimes it is appropriate to write to the other party again whilst remembering that your intention is to free your spirit not to send a poison arrow of anger and hurt. In some cases the other party may no longer be here and it might be helpful in these circumstances to have the conversation around forgiveness with a counsellor.

A final step is to have an official ceremony to release the negative influences from old wounds. Whether you make this ceremony some form of ritual or a private prayer service it is a way of making your forgiveness official and allowing yourself the space and permission to make a new start free from the perception of yourself as a victim.

Ask yourself the following questions:

Who are the people I have yet to forgive?

Who is working to forgive me?

What still prevents me from forgiving others?

What emotional memories do I still need to heal?

What relationships in my life require healing?

The burden of perceived wrong doing is a heavy load. The act of true forgiveness is liberating. Weights do literally fall from burdened shoulders and energy levels do increase. Forgiveness opens up a whole spectrum of new possibilities in all domains of life - try it and see what happens.